A Great and Terrible Beauty
by karkatspanties
Summary: AU: As a school project Yuuri is told to write a jornal for the entire year, what he never ever crosses his mind is that it'll all end up telling the tragic story of Wolfram von Bielefeld. Yuuram/Muuri ? Had to move the rating up.
1. September

**A couple of notes:**

**1) **This stories going to have a really sad ending(maybe). I already have the story planed out and… well people aren't going to be too happy about it. I bet I get my first flame… x

**2)** This stories totally **AU**. I basically took the characters names, looks, and a few personality traits and warped them to fit this twisted spin on reality. But this is a **FAN FIC** so it shouldn't really be a problem. And if it is **LEAVE**!

**3)** I got this idea from a book called _**Go Ask Alice**_. But it's really not going to be that much like it. I just got the idea from reading it. (It's a great book. You should really read it sometime.) I took the title from another book _**A Great and Terrible Beauty**_ by Arya Bryier, it just seemed to fit. It's nothing like that book either.

**4) **As I said in note 2 up there the characters are really out of character. The whole point of this story (besides to tell Wolf's tragic story that would probably be better left in my mind) is to work on my character make ups of Yuuri and Murata.

You'll see that Yuuri likes to ramble and gets distracted easily, but at the same time he's kind of cocky and has a mouth on him. I had to re-write this chapter a couple of times because he was becoming to much like my Wolfram (which if anybody read _Running Away_ before I took it down knows that my Wolfram is a level head, tongue lashing, somewhat spite full, loving, fiery, a-bunch-of-other-things, spoiled brat). I also made him Otaku-ish, just to make him stand out more from my Wolfram. Also I'll refer to him as **S.Y.H.F. **at the beginning and in the epilogue (which will be in story form). All it stands for is **S**hibuya **Y**uuri,** H**arujuku **F**uuri. I use it because I like the way it sounds…

Another thing, Yuuri's kind of bi-polar when it comes to dealing with Wolfram. One minute he wants to choke him out and the next he wants to hug him. I did this on purpose.

And I just have issues with Murata, but writing him is so much fun. He's definitely a perverted know-it-all in this story.

**5)** This is a **TRAGIC **tale of Wolfram so if you don't want to hear about him suffering in some of the most inhumane ways _**this**_ world has to offer, then turn away and don't read this because Wolfram does get kidnapped, and raped, and -- and I'm going to stop there before I give away the whole story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own **KKM** or _**A Great and Terrible Beauty**_ or even _**Go Ask Alice**_.

Oh and everything below the title, below this blab, is part of the story… Even if it does look like an author's note.

_**A Great and Terrible Beauty**_

**To the reader:**

_This story is based on actual events. This is the dairy of one of my student's portraying the tragic tell of another of my student's. This is the story that dives deep into his undying love for a boy who was losing himself to this cold world._

_It offers no solutions. It's just the ramblings and story of a confused teenaged boy trying to find himself while helping the one he loved re-find himself._

**Dr. Vivien L. Hampton**

_Names, dates, places and certain events have been changed in accordance with the wishes of those concerned._

**The Editors**

_Love is never something that should be feared._

_For Murata, where ever you are now._

_I'm sorry…_

_For Conrad, Cheri-Sama, Gwendal, Günter _

_I wish I could explain…_

**S.Y.H.F**

(_the_ writer)

**English 11 Writing Prompt**

I have decided this year instead of giving you a giant end of the year test for your final I'm going to have you keep journals.

You are to write something, be it what you did that day, the lyrics to the song stuck in your head, or even poetry and short stories, at least twice a week every week.

**Due Dates:**

December 15th - they will be returned to you the following Monday.

May 14th – I'll either keep them or you can ask for them back.

Don't worry I won't be telling your parents or anybody anything you write down here unless its plans to hurt yourself or others.

(**Note: **This has been edited to go with the story.)

**September**

**September 12**

I really don't want to do this project. I'm not going to lie, I think it's stupid. Why should I tell some teacher I'm not going to see after all this all the things that happen in my life this year? I mean I'm sure even I'm going to end up doing something to get in trouble, or write down something that will get someone else in trouble.

But I do need the grade so I'll do it.

The first question:

Who lives in your house?

My mother, my father, my brother, me, and our Labrador Yuuram (I will tell the story of Yuuram later, its rather funny… in a weird twist way).

The second question:

Who are your friends?

Well, right now I really only have one friend, Murata. When I was little and we still lived in Japan I was also friends with Wolfram – oddly.

The third question:

Any other things I should know?

Well… I don't know. Maybe. It may not be of any relevance, but we speak Japanese in our house for the most part. Well my mom speaks Engrish. It can be a little confusing because she'll say something one way and then say it another, but I guess you get use to it.

Well anyway I'm a pretty boring person. I doubt that I'll have much to write.

You know, unless something amazing drops out of the sky.

**September 13**

I have nothing to write about so I present: Why we're in America; the tale of an over achieving older brother.

My father works for a large international company and they transferred him here (I think my mom had something to do with it) when I was about 12. At that time I didn't know why. I was just mad because I had to leave almost all of my friends. Murata and, at that time, Wolfram being the exceptions.

I now know why we're here in America. I just found out that Bob, the C.E.O. of the company that my father works for, wants Shouri, my older brother, to be his heir.

I'm only mildly shocked at this information for some reason.

**September 14**

Boring day at school. Ate lunch with Murata, like usual. Came home, did all my homework, watched TV, mom made curry for dinner, read manga, and started writing this. Now I'm off to watch anime on the computer.

Thank you god for blessing me with the ability to speak Japanese, it really comes in handy.

**September 15**

Yay! It's Friday! Besides it being the glorious sub-holiday that American's celebrate on a weekly basis, today sucked. Wolfram… AGAIN! Although you haven't heard all my _Wolfram_ stories so you don't know why I say again. On that note I don't really want to go into it right now.

**September 16**

**1:06 a.m.**

I tried to think it through rationally, but it didn't work. Murata always says I'm always irrational to everything Wolfram related. (Something about how I have a warped sense of justice when it comes to Wolfram, and the way I always viewed Wolfram before our friendship broke never completely went away… or something. I don't know.) And he's probably right. We were friends for 12 years of our lives, but he changed when we all moved to America.

I want to know what the hell his problem is! What the hell did I ever do to him? Gah! He really pisses me off! Spoiled brat!

"She's flirting with you, Shibuya." Murata said quietly.

"You think everybody's flirting with everybody and sex will solve all our problems." I hiss as we made our way up to the counter. "She's not flirting with me. Besides, we just walked in here and all she said was hello."

Murata laughed in his good-natured way when the bell or the door chimed behind us. "If it isn't Mr. Sex-on-legs." I didn't even need to turn around to know that Murata's talking about Wolfram. He's called the brat that since he hit puberty.

The ice cream girl doesn't even get out "How may I help you?" before the tapping starts. I didn't even completely comprehend what she's said before a voice from behind us snaps "Some of us haven't got all day."

I tuned to gtowl at him when Murata grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back; gesturing, in a gentlemen sort of way, for Wolfram to in front of us. I glared at Murata hoping he'd explode.

No such luck.

"There's something wrong with him." Murata whispered in my ear, totally ignoring the death rays I was sending his way. He pushes me slightly trying to get me to look at Wolfram and so I do.

There's a dazed look in his eyes, dark circles underneath them, and the way he looked at the floor when people talked to him… It was so un-Wolfram like. The Wolfram I knew had a brash, in your face type of attitude. He always stood out, whether he was trying to or not. But this boy before me was like the walking dead. Yeah he still stood out, he's still Wolfram, but his personality, the way he talked, moved, stared. He could have been anyone of the hundreds of blonde haired, green eyed boys in this country. And that's what made me worry the most I guess.

Because this is Wolfram von Bielefeld we're talking about. Not every other blonde haired, green eyed boy, this was Wolfram and he was blending in, not setting trends.

I had subconsciously taken a step towards him as he stepped away from the counter, ice cream in hand, it smooshed between us. His eyes met mine briefly then he looked back at the floor, he opened his moth to say something, but I cut him off.

"Watch where you're going!" His eyes met mine as they darken and narrow. Then he dumps the remainder of his ice cream over my head. He called me a 'Stupid Wimp' in Japanese as he storms out.

Murata thinks that what said was uncalled for, but when did I start care what he thought?!

Okay I always have but I just hate hen he's right. I should have listen to what Wolfram was about to say, but of course I didn't. But he probably would have said the exact same thing I did. Murata also thinks that I'm over thinking this, but what does he know?!

Although, considering a lot of people who piss Wolfram off go missing, I think I got off pretty easy with an ice cream on the head. But the way that ice cream girl stared after him…

It makes me sick!

He pisses me off!

**8:20 p.m.**

Slept until 10. Started my homework, ate lunch finished my homework, watched a movie with mom, helped her with dinner said dinner, watched another movie with mom, dad watched it too. Now off to watch anime.

**September 18**

Monday… Nothing happened. Going to rot my brain on Negima! (Which I borrowed from Murata.) No homework tonight! Woo-Hoo!!

**September 19**

Mom says I should write more often. I'm not sure why she says that. I'm not even sure how she would even know how much I write or don't write. (She'd probably been reading this. I better find another hiding spot just incase.) I mean my life's pretty boring. I read manga, do my homework, watch TV and movies, play video games and on the computer, and go to school; just like 90% of the high school population. (And I know not everybody does all of those exact things, but they do at least one of them.)

Going to read some more Negima! before bed.

**September 23**

Spent today with Murata. Didn't really do anything. So since today was so lame I present: How I met Murata Ken (or Ken Murata); the tragic tale of an overbearing brother.

Growing up, and still, my brother was/is overly protective of me. (His brother complex is really annoying, even more so then my mothers obsession with Yaoi…) On the few occasions that I managed to slip away from Shouri I was forced to play alone. That's how I met Murata.

It was really kind of a fluke. I didn't mean for it to happen, I was fine playing alone. I'd never known anything different so it didn't really bother me. I really don't know how it happened, one minute I was alone and the next he was there. It was kind of magical because all I did was blink and he was there. We played in the sandbox for well over an hour before Shouri found us and ripped me away saying that I shouldn't talk to strangers. (Question: How can you make any friends if you don't talk to strangers? I swear this world is so backwards sometime.) Ever since then we've been good friends. Over 10 years now… Wow!

I have one word to describe Murata: PERVERT! He hits on everyone regardless of gender, (not that I've got a problem with gay people or even them hitting on me, I _do_, however, have a problem with Murata hitting on me.) His parents are… out there too. I don't know how to describe them really. First off they do love each other, but they only stay together because of Murata. They both have lovers, and both of their lovers are male. (And have been ever since I met them. This is probably why Murata is the way he is.) They both work for Bob's company.

I've probably let out to much into about Murata, but I guess I'll apologize to him about it later.

I doubt he'll care though.

I wonder if he's doing this assignment too… hmm…

Going to go watch Anime.

**September 26**

Got stuck with Wolfram for our science project. We got paired up yesterday really (although that all that got done with the constant fight about who was pair up with who, and of course every girl in the class wanted to be me, and I just wanted to work with Murata). Today we started talking about topics. I have to say working with Wolfram hasn't been as bad as I thought it'd be. He's actually been very even tempered, nice even, which surprised (if not freaked me out) me a little. He usually has no patience when it comes to me. None at all. It's only been 2 days though, but it takes me back to a time when he and I sue to be friends. We were both cute kids, but he grew up "hot" and I grew up "nerd". Things happened and we just grew apart… And that thing that happened…

Gee, don't I sound sappy?

Anyway we couldn't pick out our topic (mainly because we talked the whole hour about random things), we'll work on it some more Thursday. But talking to my brother did give me an idea. I'm sure he'll like it, and I have my own reasons for the topic as well.

I don't know how I know, but I know there's something wrong with him. He seems… off. I know he and I don't see eye-to-eye, but I hope he's okay.

**September 27**

Not much to say to say. Wolfram looked really tired today. I think I'm the only one who noticed (except Murata, but he notices everything). He really liked the topic and I even almost got a smile when I suggested it. We skipped lunch and did research.

I watched him closely as he worked on the computer. Something was definitely wrong. I don't know what it is. Maybe he is into drugs like people keep saying. I'm hopping that he's not and that it's just some sort of personal crisis. Maybe its both. I don't know but I'm kind of worried.

I put my cell phone number in his phone and told him he could text or call me anytime for whatever reason. He gave me a weird look, but nodded and slipped his phone away before the librarian could notice and take it away.

Murata jokes (I really hope) that it looked like the beginnings of courtship. (He _stalked_ us to the library.) I really hope it didn't look like that! I was just really worried about him. I mean we use to be such good friends.

I don't know.

Ugh! Still haven't finished Negima!

**September 28**

Tired—didn't get much sleep last night. Kept thinking about Wolfram… and I'm worried because he wasn't at school today. Maybe I should text him, but I don't know what to say. I had to have Shouri help me with my homework, couldn't focus on it.

**To Wolfram: ** Are you okay?

**From Wolfram: **I don't know…

**September 29**

Ended up staying home today. My mom called me in sick. Truth is that I didn't get any sleep last night. Since I don't miss much school my mom let me stay home. She and I went and picked up my homework, (I stayed in the car) and then went out for Chinese at lunch. At that point I still hadn't gotten any sleep. When we got home I still couldn't sleep so I started on my homework. I got through most of it pretty easily, except English. (You should really cut back on all that work!) Murata texted me once to tell me that Wolfram wasn't there again, another time to tell me all the new rumors surrounding his short disappearance (which took like 13 or 14 messages and all as crazy as the last), and about 60 more times to whine about various things. Wolfram texted me too.

**From Wolfram:** Yuuri?

**To Wolfram: ** What is it?

**From Wolfram:**

The blank message startled me, but then my phone rang. It was Wolfram. He sounded panicky as he talked to me. He didn't tell me what was wrong. He avoided the subject like it was taboo.

I have a bad feeling and its making me sick to my stomach. I know that I've lost another nights sleep. I hope this isn't becoming a habit.

I don't want to be an insomniac.

**September 30**

Still haven't gotten any sleep. I've tried really hard. This is day 3. Mom says if I don't get any sleep tonight she's taking me to the ER. If I don't get any I'll probably start hallucinating tomorrow.

I try to push thoughts of Wolfram away because those are what are keeping me awake, but they always come right back. I feel tired I just can't sleep. Murata came by, but I don't remember much of what we did or talked about. Everything's starting to blur together now.

But Wolfram is clear.

He always has been a clear thought.

Murata says I'm in love with him and always have been. He says we argue and fight because we want each other, but don't want to admit it. I think Murata is delusional. I'm not in love with Wolfram! He's like a brother! So yes I love him, but I'm not **in **love with him. I'm worried because he's like my brother and he's obviously in some sort of trouble! I'd feel the same way if it were Shouri.

Maybe…

I think…

I want to give him a hug!

I want to give the world a hug!

I'm tired…

_/SEPTEMBER/_

_Am I invisible?_

_Can he not see,_

_All of these things,_

_He keeps doing to me?_

_Am I afraid?_

_Or even really here?_

_All these things I keep doing to myself._

_All these things I fear._

_Am I to die?  
Or will I live?_

_With all of these things,_

_That keep slipping from m head…_

_I can't seem to remember,_

_But I can still dream._

_I have to remember,_

_Nothing is as it seems._

**|End of September|**

How was that for a first chapter? I know it was a little awkward, but I'll work on it. I wrote the poem myself and every poem you'll see at the end of every chapter unless other wise stated.

**[Preview for October]**

**October 6**

Friday, today – Wolfram skipped school and spent the day with me. We watched TV on the couch for a while, but there wasn't really anything on. So I picked out a movie and we watched it instead. There wasn't really much talking done in that time.

At some point in time I fell asleep. I woke up in my bed, Wolfram was sitting at the foot with his back against the wall, curled around his legs. He shook softly, I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew he was crying. I didn't get anytime to comfort or question him because of my drug induced sleepiness I fell tight back asleep.

I woke up and he was gone.

**[Preview End]**

Until next time! Buh-bye !

Aya **|[HbP]|**


	2. October

**A/N: **Well… This chapter ends awkwardly. Blame it on my awkward personality. Yeah… Anyway I should have both November, December, and January up before the end of January and then from then I'll have the chapter up during it month (or at least try and have it up).

There will be 9 chapters told from the view and then one, the epilogue, will probably be 3rd person P.O.V. or maybe Yuuri's, but it'll actually be in story form.

I just had a random itch to write this out in story form when I'm done… I don't know yet though.

_**A Great and Terrible Beauty**_

**October**

**October 3**

Didn't get any sleep Saturday. I was seeing giant Sushi…

And it was trying to eat me…

Right…

Mom took me to the ER Sunday. I passed out on the way there, so she took me back home. I only slept for an hour or two, but I feel somewhat better. Wolfram came by. My mom was thrilled. (She's always really, really, really liked Wolfram.) He brought me my work. I won't be going to school the rest of the week either. My doctor came by and since I can't seem to sleep he put me on sleeping pills… and bed rest.

I don't wanna lie in bed all that time.

**October 6**

Wednesday – Did all the homework I could on my own on and off the rest of the day.

Thursday – Shouri actually home, so I had him help me. Ate dinner as a family. Watched a movie, slept, butbesides that got a couple text from Murata.

Friday, today – Wolfram skipped school and spent the day with me. We watched TV on the couch for a while, but there wasn't really anything on. So I picked out a movie and we watched it instead. There wasn't really much talking done in that time.

At some point in time I fell asleep. I woke up in my bed, Wolfram was sitting at the foot with his back against the wall, curled around his legs. He shook softly, I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew he was crying. I didn't get anytime to comfort or question him because of my drug induced sleepiness I fell tight back asleep.

I woke up and he was gone.

**October 8**

Did nothing yesterday. Didn't take anymore pills. I'm sleeping again, think god.

Didn't do anything today either. Got ready for school tomorrow. Did nothing else.

That's a lie. I read a book, I found it yesterday. I think its Wolfram's because I know its not mine.

**October 9**

I finished reading the book at lunch. I was right, it was Wolfram's. He asked me if I read it and I didn't know what to say. I told him no. He frowned and thanked me for bringing it back to him.

I feel like I've just done something wrong.

**October 10**

Murata said he left it on purpose. He wanted me to read it. He's right, and I know it. What I don't know is why.

When I first started reading it I didn't even think I'd reading it I didn't think that I'd read past the first few pages. The main character is gay. It wasn't really my cup of tea so to speak.

Wait. Is he trying to tell me he's gay?

Maybe, but I doubt it. Even if that was what he was trying to say that, the character may have been gay, but it was only part of the story.

I'm confused.

But I refuse to lose sleep over this.

**October 11**

Don't have class with Wolfram today, but I do have lunch with him. So instead of sitting with Murata like I usually did, I hunted sown Wolfram and dragged him away from his friends.

"Hey Wolfram!" I smiled at him. He just kind of looked at me. "I want to talk to you.: He have me a questioning look and his friends started talking but U was so focused on him that I didn't hear anything they said. "About that thing you asked me about the other day…"

He still seemed confused, but went with me anyway; I noted that he had left his lunch uneaten on the table and that he still hadn't said anything yet.

We ended up in the library. "What was it you wanted to talk to me about exactly?" He looked like he'd lost some weight, his hair isn't as shinny, his eyes were dull.

I'm really worried.

"Why did you leave that book in my room?"

Something in his eyes changed. They were still lacking the fiery passion, but he looked nervous. Because I wanted you to read it." He stood from the table and turned away from me. "But that…"

"I did read it though."

"Then why did you lie about it?" He faced me, his expression oddly blank.

Why had I lied to him? I really had no clue. I had no reason to. It was just something about the story that seemed surreal, that seemed familiar. I just felt like I shouldn't have read it. I kind of panicked I guess.

"I don't know." I said looking at his feet instead of his dead eyes. "I just didn't think that you wanted me to read it, but then I guess if you didn't want me to read it then you wouldn't have left it for me to find." I ramble, sheepishly scratching the back of my head.

"Yuuri," my eyes snapped up to his face instantly. He was smiling at, but it was sad. "You…" He walked towards me, bt I stepped back until I found my back against a book shelf.

I don't know why I freaked out, honestly. I mean he didn't make any indication that he was something in his eye that mad my heart skip a beat and caused me to panic.

Wolfram rested his forehead against mine. I could feel heat rush to my face. "W-W-Wolfram!"

He took a deep breath and let it out. It washed over my face and I could feel the heat of his breath on my lips. "Your like everything lost, but found again; like home. Don't ever change."

"Wait! Wol-!" His lips pressed against mine softly where they lingered for a second before he ripped away and disappeared.

I was shocked to say the least. I sat there on the floor where I'd once stood. I sat there so long that I missed all of 5th hour and most of 7th.

My thoughts were spinning. I thought of everything and nothing. I was very confused, still am confused. Does that mean hi is gay?

T not he is I don't think that' was what he was trying to tell me. I mean instead of all these riddles wouldn't it be easier just to say "Hey Yuuri, I have something to tell you. I know we're not friends like we use to be, but I need to tell someone. I'm gay and I like to randomly kiss people."

Okay I doubt that he likes to randomly kiss people, but then that kiss would have meant something. Maybe he just did it to confuse me.

**From Wolfram: **Have you figured it out yet?

**To Wolfram: **No.

Gah! Does the confusion never end?

**October 12**

Murata Says I still haven't gotten over the shock of being kissed by Wolfram. I don't think I have either. Spent all of 6th hour fighting with Wolfram. We didn't get any work done because we had to do everything his way whether it was the right way to do it or not.

I was always wrong no matter what it was. I actually said I could have said the sky was blue and he would have argued with me about it. I decided to text him and demand an answer.

**To Wolfram: **What the hell was your issue today? You were being nice, now you've gone back to being an ass again.

**From Wolfram: **I don't know what you're talking about.

**To Wolfram: **Yes you do! I know you do.

**From Wolfram: **Have you figured it out yet?

What is that he wants me to figure out? How am I suppose to figure it out if I don't even know anything about what I'm suppose to be figuring out? Ugh! He's pissing me off again.

But I can't help but be curious.

And worried. Thus seems more like a desperate cry for help then anything.

But how can I help him?

**October 13**

**To Wolfram: **Is it that your gay.

**From Wolfram: **… That's not it.

I feel stupid. Maybe I'm not really suppose to figure it out easily. I think I'm going to talk to Murata about this.

**October 14**

Spent today with Murata (I seem to spend Saturday's with Murata.) He hit on girls and I thought about Wolfram.

**To Wolfram: **When did you figure that out?

"What's with that look?" I looked up at Murata as he spoke.

"What look?" I asked confused.

"like you're going to die if your phone doesn't go off." The light hit his glass in just the right way that made it so that I can't see his eyes. (I swear he always knows everything… Maybe he sees the future.) "And you have that look you get when you're thinking of Wolfram…"

Ugh! He's so annoying too! Why do I draw annoying people to me? Murata, my brother, Wolfram, my mother can be annoying too!

I just stared at him. "I guess that again you're over thinking things." Murata smiled his good-natured smile. "Just tell him you couldn't figure it out. That you need more help."

"Like I need more clues?"

"Yes." He smirked all knowingly. "I've read the book. I think I know exactly what he wants from you."

"Really?! Will you tell me?" I asked smiling hopefully.

"Of course not." He said still smiling.

That's not frustrating or anything. I think he likes to see me suffer. Wait! I know he likes to see me suffer.

On to more up beat topics, I've gotten over half of my portion of the work for our science project done! That makes me so excited!

See I'm a boring person! I get excited over finishing only half of my half of our science project.

**October 15**

I'm bored. There's nothing on TV, nobody to talk to, I've even finished all my homework. Wolfram did finally answer my question today.

**From Wolfram: **When I realized that I'd fallen in love with a boy.

Ugh! I don't want to think about this anymore. I think I'll just go to sleep.

**October 17**

Had to prove we were actually doing work on our project in science yesterday. Most groups didn't have anything done. Murata and his partner were done. Completely! I'm not surprised though. Wolfram had a lot of things done, but not as much as me. Which surprised me because he's such a good student. We got a lot of work done today. We even stayed after school to finish. We have another week or more, but I'm glad to have it done.

I think that I'm going to go to bed now.

**October 18**

Spent lunch with Wolfram. It was nice.

And weird.

I haven't spent time with him in a while.

Well since we were still friends, but that was back in middle school. Something happened over the summer vacation between 8th grade and freshman year. He never told me what happened; it was just the end of our friendship.

We talked about our families and how everybody was doing. I invited him over for dinner Friday. My mom's so excited, she planed a lot of food out. I know he use to eat a lot, but I'm not sure anymore.

I haven't seen him eat in a long time.

We've spent time together, but we haven't talked about everything like that in a long while. It makes me realize how much I actually missed him. I mean he was my best friend and then suddenly he just… wasn't.

**October 19**

Was a long day. I had to put up with Murata at lunch. He had a list of sexual innuendos about me and Wolfram. I was tempted to carve out his voice box with my plastic spork.

He insist that it's me Wolfram fell in love with.

I don't know whether I can't or just don't want to, but I don't believe him.

**October 21**

Wolfram came over last night. Well really he came home with me after school. He was… oddle happy. He even dawned my mom's _extra _(meaning its really meant for me) pink frilly apron and helped her cook dinner. I was kind of surprised.

As for dinner. It went smoothly…

Well as smoothly as dinner with my family gets when mixed with a little Wolfram. (My family is unnaturally fond of Wolfram.) Even Shouri was home for the occasion.

**BUT**

They ended up getting him drunk, and my mother insisted he spend the night (with emphasis on alone in my room… Rabid yaoi fan-girls scare me). Her reasoning was because it was so late, but it was really because Wolfram was so drunk. I didn't really care because I didn't want him to do anything stupid.

It was an easy task to get him upstairs to my room. He clung to me saying something like "If I let you go I'll fall into nothing." (I don't really understand that, but I really didn't have much time to think about it at that time.) It was harder to get him ready for bed. After having to have Shouri help me I finally managed it.

I started to get ready myself when he starts crying (like a cat trying to get attention) my name, wanting me to save him. From what, I couldn't figure out because I was sure that he wasn't afraid of my pillows. And the only real danger he was in was the self that hung over my bed that was piled with my manga falling on him. I can only stare at him as he sits there, arms out stretched, repeating my name over and over and over. And it wasn't playful either.

I didn't know what to do. So I crossed the room in my boxers to comfort him. I managed to get him calmed down and he tells me he can't see anything. I tell him it's just because he's really tired and its his brain shutting down. I don't know if he really believes this, but he accepts it. I'm not really sure what's wrong, but I really needed to tell him something.

I tell him I'll be right back and rush down to the kitchen in a mild panic. I grab a box of cheese crackers and tell my mom what's happening. She seems to understand and know more of what's going on then I do. She looks guilty as she hands me a glass of water and shoos me back upstairs.

I hand him the box of crackers and the glass of water which he accepts. He eats a couple of handfuls and takes a couple of drinks before handing them back to me. I sat them on the bed side table and tell him to sleep on the out side (It was amusing watching him fill around for the edge). I turn off the light and climb over him.

He fell asleep rather quickly after muttering some non-sense about Yuuram (which I still haven't told you about) and Loki (which is Murata's cat), but I couldn't seem to fall asleep. I don't think it had anything to do with the fact that another boy was sleeping in my bed (I know _normal _boys don't do that), but when Murata stays over he sleeps in my bed with me. (He refuses to sleep anywhere else and I refuse to give up my bed. The first time it happened it was a little awkward, but we got over that.

Maybe it was just because it was Wolfram.

When I woke up he was helping my mom cook breakfast wearing my clothes. He ate breakfast with us then left. I spent the rest of the day on the computer trying not to think about what happened the night before.

Now that I'm done I'm going to go to bed and continue to not think about it. I know it's only going to confuse me further if I do think about it.

**October 22**

Since I have free time and I said I'd tell the story I present: Yuuram, The tale of my dogs name.

He was a gift from Wolfram, a going away gift. We kept arguing about what to call him so my mom stepped in and named him…

Enough said.

Yes I get what his name implies, but I just ignore it like I do the thousands of other yaoi things my mother comes up with. I know that having a yaoi obsessed mom isn't a norm, but for me it is. I've learned to live with it.

Even though it causes embarrassing situations.

And makes me questions my mom's sanity.

And mine.

And my sexuality.

But you didn't need to know that.

I'm going to bed.

**October 23**

Flunked my English test, studied with Murata all nigh. I'm going to study some more then bed. Wolf got sick in lunch and went home early today. I hope he gets to feeling better.

**October 27**

A+ on my English make-up test, but you already knew that. I'm just so excided about it.

Halloween in 4 days! I'm actually going to the party this year. The one that Sean throws every year.

Turned in our Science project. Yay! for half week next week! It was a good idea to have a half week on Halloween week. The person who thought that up was genius.

Today Wolfram wore _my _jacket to school today. It was big on him like it was on me. I asked him if he was going to give it back and he just smiled and teasingly said, "I'll think about it." He didn't give it back, but I don't mind.

He seems much happier lately and I hope it stays that way.

**October 29**

Yesterday was a weird day. Went to the park with Murata and he started hitting on me. I, thinking he was joking, went along with it. I have to say that saying it was a bad idea would be an understatement.

Lets just day I may have just lost my best friend. No, he wasn't right in what he did, but I know I over reacted. I was just so shocked, and not by what he did, but the way my body reacted to what he did.

I don't even remember what we had been talking about.

My lips still tingle where he kissed me and I can still taste him on my tongue. My skin burns plesently where he touched me. My face heats up every time I think about it. My knuckles throb from where I hit him.

I haven't been this confused in… a… couple of weeks?

GAH! That reminds me, I still haven't figured out what Wolfram was trying to tell me.

God do I hate life. Now my mom's asking why Murata hasn't called, or texted, or been by. What do I tell her? "He kissed me and I hit him"? I don't think so! Knowing my mom she'd be livid.

**October 30**

He started to apologize, but I just told him there was nothing to apologize for. With that our awkwardness disappeared and we lapsed into our normal ways. Him teasing me about everything and me ignoring most of the things that come out of his mouth. But the looks he keeps giving me…

I can't ignore those.

And I'm afraid to call him out on it.

_/OCTOBER/_

_Deep gashes,  
__On my wrist.  
__He's found bliss,  
__In ignorance._

_His stupidity astounds,  
__But in the end,  
__He confounds me._

_I look into his eyes,  
__It's just like being home.  
__"_For you a thousand times over"  
_I hope you do know._

_Love is never something,  
__That you should fear,  
__But I run for my life,  
__Whenever he is near._

_Bitterness and bliss  
__Are not the same.  
__So why with our love  
__Must we play this game?_

**|End of October|**

Oh wow! Who saw that ending coming? I certainly didn't… It wasn't until recently that I realized that I had a thing for that pairing… OxO'

**[Preview for November]**

Erm... I don't have a preview for November. I'm so sorry. I have it written, but I don't have it with me. When I left home I stared at the note book I'm writing this story asking myself if I needed it. And I was like Nah. But I got about 100 miles away from my house and realized I **did **need it. Uhg**!**

**[Preview End]**

Until next time! Buh-bye !

Aya **|[HbP]|**


	3. November

**Disclaimer:** I don't own…

**A/N:** Happy fucking birthday to me… (Sorry its been a bad day.) Wooh! 19[2/15]

Today was another bad day… [2/16]

-sigh- This chapter is really awkwardly written, but I needed it to a certain point by the beginning of December and I got it there. I hope you don't mind my OC she's important, but she's not going to break up the Yuuram-y-ness like most OC's seem to do.

_**A Great and Terrible Beauty**_

**November**

**November 1**

The party was awesome. Sean knows how to throw a party. I was up all night and well into the morning then slept all day. Mom woke me up for dinner so I decided to write this before I go back to sleep because I'm still drained.

I actually went with Murata and we actually stayed together for the most part. He didn't run off to hit on girls, which really surprised me. He's been acting weird since the other day, but I guess that's to be expected from what happened.

Someone spiked _everything _and he got drunk and started hitting on Wolfram who, oddly, thought it was funny. The three of us ended up by the lake. Wolfram was on some kind of high and Murata was drunk off his ass, but they made for amusing company for a while until it just got weird and I pushed them both into the water, which brought them both down to earth and then they pulled me in.

I decided to just swim, but I wanted to have at least semi-dry clothes to I got out and stripped, wringing as much of the excess water out as I could, laid them out so they'd actually dry and jumped back in. They followed suit. We played "Marco-Polo" until the sun started coming up.

During that time I got molested more then once.

Anyway, by the time we actually got out our clothes were dry, for the most part. After that nice long swim in icy cold water none of us were really tired so we went to the doughnut shop across the street from Wolfram's house. The waitress was shocked to see 3 teenaged boys walk in at 6 am, break week, the morning after Halloween night, but she just smiled and seated us.

We spent almost 3 hours eating doughnuts and giggling (more like teenaged girls then boys). I was drinking hot chocolate, Murata had coffee, and Wolfram had a glass of chocolate milk (and a glass of Mt. Dew). We ended up spending a ton of money, which Wolfram covered. It was really because of me. I'd ordered the most, but then again Wolf had eaten the most.

Shouri wasn't happy when I came home, but I don't care. He's not my mother, even though he likes to think he is. Besides mom didn't care. I texted her every so often to tell her what we were doing (minus details of course).

I didn't want her to worry.

With my mom, who knows what she'd have done if I hadn't…

**November 2**

Even with all the sleep I got yesterday, I still slept till noon. Murata's staying over, but all we've done is lay around. He's asleep on the couch and I'll probably be joining him soon.

**November 3**

I heard mom and dad talking this morning about making me clean the garage. My dad was insisting Shouri do it for some kind of fun – fun for who, I'm not sure – and mom was insisting that I do it for… She didn't have a reason. (Thanks mom!) So before they could tell me to do it I scribbled down a note, "woke" Murata up, and dragged him to his house.

It was funny when he actually woke up and we were in his room. I'm actually going back to stay the night. His mom and dad insisted because they have 4 tickets for the new movie opening night… well tomorrow.

I've wanted to see since I first heard about it.

**November 5**

I just got home, spent the whole weekend over at Murata's and I have to say that I'm exhausted. Yesterday we went to the theme park. Left right from the movie and went straight there. It was a 5-hour drive. We woke up to his parents arguing over where to get breakfast. Murata, forever the peacekeeper of his family, decided on asking me o choose between Denny's and IHOP. I really wanted some stuffed French toast, bi I chose Denny's because/// Well I'm not sure why.

After we ate we got back in the car, still having some time to drive and then some time before the park even opened. I have to say I'm surprised at how much energy Murata's parents have. As far as I knew neither of them had slept. Murata went back to sleep and I played with hi PSP.

We arrived quickly and his dad went and bought the tickets while his mom and I tried to wake him up. By the time we got him awake the park was open. It was the last weekend that it was opened because it was starting to get really cold. We stayed until close.

We rode the Farris-Wheel last. The pretty blonde girl giggled as she locked us into our seats. I understood why she was giggling and I also understand why we were getting all the dirty looks. We stood too close, talked too quietly, acted like nobody else was around, laughed at the same inside joke that we'd been laughing about since forever, talking in Japanese instead of English… We looked like lovers.

And it, surprisingly, didn't bug me.

Of course with all the awkwardness between us already we had to get stopped at the top of the ride. I groan and Murata laughs.

"Of course," I mumble, "Of course we'd get stuck at the top."

Murata laughed but it sounded kind of bitter, but I couldn't really tell because his glasses caught what little light shown up on us. "What? Do you not like being alone with me, Yuuri?"

Murata rarely calls me Yuuri, just like I very rarely call him Ken. It's just a thing between us that has always been there. He only calls me Yuuri when he's actually mad and wants me to know it, or he's trying to get my attention.

I blinked confused because he sounded like he was joking, but he'd said 'Yuuri'. "I don't mind being alone with you. I mean I've never really thought about it before…" I looked away from him and stared into the pitch black that laid beyond the brightly lit up world that surrounded us, "but I don't particularly dislike it."

He was looking at me now. I could feel it. I turned and caught his eyes. They were unreadable, like usual. "What makes you ask that anyway?"

Murata laughed, his cheeks even turning pink with the sound. "Two people have fallen in love with you and you don't even notice."

I just stared at him confused, two people have fallen in love with me? I know he's one from the note he slipped into the book I borrowed, but who is the other?

**November 6**

I thought about avoiding Murata for today, but I decided against it. I have no real reason to and I can't help but feel a little bad about it.

And at the same time I'm angry because he keeps acusing me of being in love with Wolfram.

_I know nothing between us will ever happen, and I can live with just being your friend because the one you're in love with needs and deserves you a lot more then I do. You should know that Wolfram loves you as much as you do him. Always has loved you._

This morning when I first saw him, before he could even get out "Ohi- -!" I yelled at him, thankfully in Japanese, that I was not in love with Wolfram and that he didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

He laughed because Wolfram chose that moment to walked up to us, his eyes unreadable but his cheeks were red.

From Murata: You sure screwed up this time, Yuuri~

To Murata: Shut up, KEN! D:

From Murata: LMAO

To Murata: GAH!! I hate you!!

…Well that's what was going on in English today…

Sorry.

**November 7**

Wolfram won't talk to me. Every time he sees me he runs the opposite direction. In science he pretended I wasn't there.

Murata hit me. It really hurt.

I know he's right now. Wolfram is in love with me and what I said yesterday must have really hurt his feelings.

I feel really bad. My stomach hurts and I couldn't keep down dinner. It makes me question:

Am I in love with Wolfram?

I need to figure it out and fast. I don't want him to break again…

**November 8**

Spent lunch in the library studying for my Trig/Pre-Calc test… With Murata's help of course. I don't think I would have gotten any studying done on my own, not that we actually got much done to begin with, but it was more this I would have gotten done on my own. My mind got distracted with Wolfram and when I answered a Trigonometric Identities problem with Wolfram instead of the actual answer (whatever that actually was) Murata stopped me with a sigh.

He was annoyed and obviously didn't wan to talk about Wolfram and the possibility that I might be in love with him, but he did. That's why we've stayed friends because he'll do things even if he doesn't want to.

I hate to sat it, but it really helped me and while I'm still not sure whether or not I'm actually in love with Wolfram, but I know I have strong feelings for him.

I'm confused.

I kind of figured out what he was trying to tell me last month. I know personally that he has no self control (well very little) and he wants me to save him. From what, I don't know, and neither does Murata. He won't tell me, but I'm sure he has some guesses. I can tell that he doesn't want to worry me, so that must mean that they're not good.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Wish we could go back to those warm summer days that we spent on the beach or by Wolfram's pool where nothing could touch us. Where our blankets ere enough to protect us from all the bad things in this world or in our minds. Before we had been tainted by all the evils in this world. Back when the three of us could lay in the center of Wolfram's bed. When we could run in the rain barefoot, in our underwear with out worrying about getting sick. When we were immortal, still untouched, unfazed by the world. When we could love someone with out having to worry about what others think or even truly understand love and all that it stands for. When holding someone's hand meant that you were scared, didn't want to get separated, or just wanted to show affection; it didn't have to mean that there was anything else to it. Where a kiss made boo-boos better, took away any pain that we felt.

Why can't we go back to that?

I know why; because time keeps going, the world keeps spinning, the old keep living, the young are dying and everybody hates each other for stupid frivolous reasons. This world is backwards…

But in all the confusion, Murata know who he is, what he wants… who he loves.

So why should it matter if I do love Wolfram?

Because I know I'll be judged, I know I'll be hated just for love.

Because I'm afraid of the consequences of those feelings.

**November 9**

Wolfram ignored me again. It hurt.

Is this the sting of love?

I don't want him to continue to ignore me, but I don't know what to do. My heart is aching. I want to ask Murata, but I know he'll feel the same pain and I don't want to do that to him. I'll just have to figure it out on my own.

I'll probably mess it all up and he'll be even madder.

Maybe I should play the ignorance card and beg for fogiveness.

I doubt that'll work because he won't even listen to me.

I'm sure I'll come up with something.

And soon hopefully.

**November 10**

I talked Murata into skipping school with me. It was cool because we spent the whole day watching anime on the on the big screen in his front room. I have to say that anime looks better on a TV taller then me and almost twice as wide.

His mother came home early and… well laughed as she scolded Murata telling him he was a bad influence on me.

Him a bad influence on me? I don't understand that, but I'm not going to question it right now. The anime gave me a good idea and I'm going to go to bed early.

**November 11**

I had a plan, but not the money to get it done. So I asked Shouri for money… to make a long story short I used his brother complex against him. I didn't have time for guilt right then. I had things to do. I ate quickly and left just as quickly. I got three houses down and it started pouring. I quickly hurried back to the house for an umbrella.

Even on the walk to Wolfram's (why I walked and didn't ask to borrow the car is beyond me) didn't help me come up with a new idea. The realization that I was going to have to wing it hit me and made the walk even longer. I dreaded arriving at his apartment.

I knew I needed a peace offering but I couldn't think of anything. Then I was passing the flower shop next to Wolfram's apartment building and I stopped. I had 20 minutes to blow until it opened.

I hurried across the street to the doughnut shop, Food and flowers, what better way to get to Wolfram's heart? There probably are better but I couldn't think of any at the time. Not that I can think of one now. But that doesn't matter because it worked.

I stood in front of his apartment door feeling very awkward and kind of nervous. I stood there for what felt like forever before knocking. When he opened the door his eyes moved ti the flowers and then locked on the large paper bag I was holding in my other hand.

"Are those the ones from the bakery across the street?"

I laughed. "Hello to you too." His eyes locked on mine. "Yes they are."

He stepped aside and let me in. "Why are you here?" He pulled out two plates and poured two glasses of milk and sat at the island in the middle of his kitchen.

I held back my laugh as he sat two doughnuts on his plate and shoved a third in his mouth.

"I wanted to apologize…" I said and stuffed one of the doughnut in my own mouth,

He looked up at me puzzled. "What for?"

This is the moment that my mind chooses to realize he's still in his pajamas and he's wearing my jacket and its wrinkled like he wore it to be.

"I woke you up!"

"Its fine. I needed to get up soon anyway. I'm suppose to meet my brother for lunch."

"Are you sure? It's only 9…"

"Don't remind me, besides you brought me breakfast so we're even for that." E started on another doughnut. "What did you want to apologize for?"

At that point all I could do was stare at him, I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want to say: "I know what I said the other day hurt your dealings because I know you're in love with me, but I don't know if I really mean it, but I'm confused so I don't know." incase I was totally wrong…

To bad it came out of my moth anyway.

Awkward is an understatement.

Wolfram just stared at me, checks scarlet (mine were too). He gaped at me like a fish. I wanted to run for it, but I found that I was rooted to the spot.

The part of me that was rooted was curious as to what Wolfram's reaction was going to be.

The other part was afraid of dying and wanted to hide under my bed.

His face returned to its normal color, which was either a really food sign or a really bad sign. I hoped it was a really good sign, but I feared it was the later.

He took a deep breath and took another doughnut (How many is that? 6?) "He told you, didn't he?" He looks me in the eye and I totally forget what he's talking about.

In my defense Wolfram has really pretty eyes! Pretty isn't even the right word. I don't even know how to describe them.

I'm love sick, aren't I?

"He who?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Murata…"

"Oh!" I flush. How could I forget my best friend? I feel guilty. "Kind of…"

"Kind of?"

"Okay, yes he did."

"He just flat out told you?"

"Yes."

Murata laughed and muttered something to himself smiling. He turned and opened his mouth to say something when his phone.

Okay he started acting really weird.

Worry replaced my giddy excitement the second he checked the clock before he answered the phone. He let it ting exactly 7 times before he picked it up.

He talked in a low voice so that I couldn't hear. I strained to hear, while looking like I wasn't doing exactly that. I didn't pick up any of the conversation. Wolfram switched back and fourth between casting worried looks at me and the clock.

This sat me on edge, but he came back to me smiling.

That barely eased me. "Thank you, Yuuri. You don't know how much this meant to me." He kissed my cheek, "I've got to get ready. Gwendal pushed lunch to brunch and he expects me in half an hour."

I nodded and stood. He rushed for the bathroom and I put the flowers in water before I left.

I got back home around 11 and texted Murata for a while until he called me. He got my mind off Wolfram for a while as we talked about the new video game coming out in Japan. Murata told me he already has his hands on a copy of it and it's as awesome as everybody says it is.

I can't wait to borrow it!

But after I got off the phone my thought retured to Wolfram. Now that I kno it's ture, Wolfram did love me, what did that mean? What was going to happen now? More importantly did I really love Wolfram don't want to hurt him again so I need to figure out my feelings…

I guess I have enough proof that I do. Now hoe am I going to tell him?

**November 12**

Decided somewhere around 4 am that it was a good idea to send my declaration of love wia text message.

…

Stupid idea. Didn't ever get one in reply. Checked my phone every 10 seconds.

I think tomorrow's going to be awkward.

**November 13**

Artemis came up to me at lunch and asked if I'd talk with her and I agreed. She started explaining things to me after I caused her a little trouble.

She loves Wolfram so much... yet she's willing to let him go if it makes him happy. And she's a yaoi fan girl… (Why am I surrounded by them?!)

She didn't get to tell me much because Mrs. Turner caught us on the roof, but she did slip me a note.

_~Yuuri_

_When I first decided I was going to just tell you what was wrong with Wolfram I knew somehow we'd be interrupted. Of course if you're reading this then we have been. I don't know how much you know or how much I've told you so I'm just going to tell you the whole story as best as I can and as well as I know it._

Blood splattered across the page and the hand writing got more urgent.

_I don't have time to explain it all to you. They're starting to suspect something. The book you read, I wrote that. It's about Wolfram. There are only three copies in the world. I have one, Wolf has one, and the third is property of one Murata Ken._

_He knows! He'll help you_

_Artemis_

Who are they?

The story is about Wolfram? Wolfram… Seriously?

Please tell me this is a sick joke!

I just don't believe it…

And Murata's known the whole time?

**November 14**

Wolfram was gone.

Artemis was gone.

Murata was gone.

What's going on here?

Tomorrow I'm cutting school and going to Murata's. I really need to talk to him.

I'm oddly not mad at him.

**November 15**

Murata was sick and he had gotten his cell phone taken away, which is why I didn't know he was sick. I told him about what Artemis had said and did and wrote the other day. I demanded to know if it were true.

"Did you know this whole time?"

He looked away slightly guilty, "Not the whole time, no. I put it together when Artemis started missing school too…"

He want on to tell me that Artemis planned all of this. Told him everything and asked him to help her, He agreed to help and this was the pest thing they could come up with without flat-out-telling me.

It would have been easier to do, but she was given orders from Wolfram not to tell me and she refused to go against those orders and made Murata swear to them too.

Wolfram is doing D.S. to forget… but from what Artemis told Murata its not causing any damage.

Yet.

I don't know what to do.

**November 19**

Artemis was at school Thursday, Wolfram was still gone and Murata was still sick. I managed to pass her a not that asked her to meet me in the library at lunch.We signed out one of the privet rooms. She opened her laptop and begun working on something there. It confused me because I'd asked her here to talk. She seemed somewhat paranoid too.

She fills me in on a lot of things. Like how she would have went to the police, but they would kill Wolfram. How they don't want Wolfram pulled from the "gutter" because he's they're best costumer so they're watching her closely. And how she knows so much about everything happening.

Her father is Takushino Mizu, the leader of the Yakuza here.

I asked her for a copy of her book bust she said she didn't have on. She e-mailed it to me though and I printed it out. (Note to self: Need more paper and ink.) I took a small section of it with me to school Friday and began going through it, writing questions, looking for answers.

I spend all of Friday and Saturday doing this and I think I may have came up with something, but I want to run it by Murata before I ask Artemis.

**November 20**

Today was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break. Murata and I got lucky and had a sub first hour so we got a pass to the library. We went back to one of the back rooms like I'd used when talking to Artemis.

From Artemis: Wolfram's not going to be here today.

To Artemis: Why?

From Artemis: He left for Germany Thursday and I just found out today. He'll be back Sunday

Murata and I discussed this among other things. I told him my thoughts n the things happening and I showed him my noted I'd taken from Artemis's book.

He looked really surprised that I'd come up with all of this. He didn't say anything, but it was just the way he kept glancing at me.

First hour ended to quickly and we had to get to class. Murata took all my notes and told me he'd read through them and give them back to me tomorrow. We didn't bring it up the rest of the day.

Artemis joined us for lunch. She seemed rather down. Maybe she just misses Wolfram. I just realized he's the only real friend she's got.

**November 21**

Went to meet with Murata, he'd brought Artemis with him. There was something wrong, but I couldn't tell what. She took us to a crowded buffet to talk and then proceeded to make me feel really stupid as she worked. When she got tired of answering my questions she and Murata left to get food.

That's when it really sat in. If Takushino Mizu was Artemis' (Takushino Ichigo as I found out later) father then that would mean that by doing this she was turning against her father. Her father the head of the Yakuza…

That means if anybody found out about what she was doing she'd be viewed as a threat, an enemy…

She said her father wouldn't hesitate to kill Wolfram, but would he hesitate to kill her? Because she is his daughter would she walk away alive if somebody found out what she was doing?

I realized, no she wouldn't.

I knew the danger of what I was doing, but I'd give anything to save Wolfram and obviously Artemis feels the same way.

I think back to the time we were on the roof she had been crying. _"HE'S GOING TO DIE IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING! YUURI! You're the only one who can get through to him now…"_

We talk about what we should do. She says we need to remove the whole problem, not just take Wolfram away from the problem.

We made up a plan. It was relatively simple, but if we don't do everything exactly right our plan is bound to fail.

We're hoping to get it accomplished before Wolfram gets back.

**November 22**

Started the plan today. I have a bad feeling that its going to fail. Artemis is going to take all the repercussions if it does.

We'll know tomorrow if it did.

Good luck, Artemis…

**November 23**

Plan failed. Artemis showed up on my doorstep covered in blood. More then half of it was her own.

It's raining now and I feel sick. She's staying here for a while. My mom wanted her to go to the hospital but she refused.

Obviously I won't be telling everybody what I did for thanksgiving.

**November 24**

Slept in today. Stayed up all night with Artemis. She has a nasty gash in her side, but she said it could have been way worse.

And I don't doubt it.

Murata managed to bring over a bunch of her stuff today.

**November 26**

Wolf came home today. He looked awesome. We want to the airport to welcome him home. We meaning my mom, Murata, Artemis, and me. Germany obviously did him some good, but Artemis says we need to come up with a new plan fast.

School tomorrow. Ugh…

**November 29**

Artemis is keeping me very entertained. She's also brought my grades up some. And became my mom's doll. She part of the family now. Like the sister I never wanted…

I've finally seen what true

_/November/_

_You were here_

_But now you're gone._

_Now my displacement_

_Is all wrong._

_Piles and piles_

_Of lullabies_

_That leave you chocking_

_On their lies._

_You say you love me,_

_But you don't._

_Bind my heart_

_And let it go._

_Pages and pages_

_Of twisted lies,_

_That tie you up_

_And make you cry._

**|End of November|**

Yes that is how it's suppose to end xD I didn't just forget to finish it.

I have to say I love making Wolfram a little glutinous. No I don't think he does nothing but eat, but I do believe he eats a lot. I have reasons to believe this is so.

FINALLY! Right? It took forever to write this (I hand write it first so I can edit as I type) just this chapter was over 37 pages long (which is a LOT shorter after you type it). December will be on its way soon and so should January and February…

I hope nobody hates Artemis… She's really only here to push the story along, but she'll be helpful later… To who that is my secret, but all I can say is sometimes even time can't heal all wounds, sometimes it take a huge dose of love from somewhere you lest expect it. xD

**[Preview for December]**

**December ??**

I don't know what day it is anymore or even if it's still December. It's impossible to tell the day and night apart.

I don't know where we are. I'm scared. Wolfram won't wake up and I can't figure out what's wrong. I keep writing incase we die here. I want people to know what happens in these situations…

I hope that between Artemis and Murata that they figure out where we are, and soon. I don't think Wolfram's going to make it much longer.

**[Preview End]**

On another note… I just totally met Greg Ayres. He just totally replaced Vic Mignogna as my fave voice actor. So funny too.

Another note: The next chapters aren't going to have thing written in story form like this one. It just doesn't make sense so I'm going to cut those parts from now on.

Until next time! Buh-bye !

Aya **|[HbP]|**


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